Again?

Ano n naman ang nagawa ko? Ksalanan ko n nman.  Grabe n to.  Hanap kpa talag ng kakampi e ano?  Ang ganda kaya ng tx natin.  Ngdistribute nman kmi ni liza ng uniform.  Kasalanan ba nmin kung umalis n ung iba?  Grabe naman.  Iba ka talaga.  Taray mo talaga.  Tama si Lawrence ang taray mo.  Minsan isipin mo naman na my mali ka rin.  Feeling mo lagi tama ka e.

eto n naman

since sunday morning, we didn't talk up to now.  what is there to live for.  what is there to continue on holding on to this relationship?

Thank God, my son finds me!

Waaaaa….my son got lost at SM yesterday!  He has this habit of roaming to places whenever we go to a particular place.  The first stop we went yesterday was at National Bookstore where I bought some writing notebooks while he browsed, endlessly, children’s books.  The next stop was at the department store where I bought Avent nipples for his sister and while I was the baby’s section, my son was at the toy section.  He usually/normally left my side or whoever was with him and go to wherever he wants but he always, always asked permission first so we know where to look for him.

The last stop where he got lost or was I the one who got lost?  Was when I bought milk and he browsed the magazines at the comic section across the milk station.  Maybe he did not see me when I was paying at the counter because I was covered by a tall, big man.  And next thing that happened that raises my ire was he left without looking for me.  Left as in go out the department store to the parking lot.  We didn’t bring car.  We usually commute when I was alone with him, so how come he went to the parking lot!  And the guards did not even notice!  A teenager saw him, looking around.  She was about to bring my son to the customer service section when my son saw me at the place where we parted.  Thank God, the lady was so nice! Had it somebody else, oh, oh I don’t want to think on the possibility of somebody grabbing my son.  Oh please God forbid!  I am just so happy that my son saw before he was page lost. 

And now I pray for the children’s safety. Keep them away from harm.  And make me a better parent (if I’m already good).  Oh God make me a better parent period.  I know I am not.  I lack patience.  Give me patience Lord.

Old Philosophical Story – Setting Your Priorities in Order

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day is not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and two cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and fills it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured it into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “YES”.

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

“Now,” said the professor, as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - God, family, children, health, friends, and favorite passions. Things, that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the things that matter like your job, house, and car. The sand is everything else -- the small stuff.” he said.

“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “There is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you...” he told them.

“So... pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Worship with your family. Play with your children. Take your partner out to dinner. Spend time with good friends. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the dripping tap. Take care of the golf balls first -- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled and said, “I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”

Source: Anonymous 

More of my hang ups

First posts for the blog and it’s all about my hang ups. Sorry, I’ve been struggling to get some nice thoughts out my system to no avail. Truth is I’ve wanted so badly to let out some steam.

I don’t normally complain about my life, but the way things are going for me at this time, I feel that I’ve now reached a saturation point. I am frustrated beyond words. Hands up, I give up! I don’t think randomly shedding a tear or two in between doing something is healthy anymore. That it would in any way erase my pain.  I have to do something NOW lest I’ll go mad. But that could never do, it’s not me haha…

I just hope in the next coming hours or days things will turn out fine. I need to see some signs of change because I don’t want to see myself going through this for a very long time. No one else can help me other than myself. I guess I better claim for the best and pray, pray that everything else will fall into place.

I keep reminding myself that I am too blessed to drown in self-pity and misery. I’ll just immerse myself in happy thoughts until it erases all the aches and pains. That is way better than drowning in misery, right?

Hurting...

Here we go again!  I’m not mad.  I’m past that phase of my life.  I’m hurt, so hurt.  How could things get any worse than what I’m feeling right now?  I bow to be the best mother to my children if not the best wife.  I tried to be the best wife but I always fail.  Numerous times I have tried.  One became tired, one gave up!  It’s both our lost.  Mine’s more hurtful because I was full of hope.  I hope for a brighter future including you, for a life with you.  I plan a life with you.  But those plans weren’t yours but mine alone according to you.  So why am I always including you?  Now I’ve reached the end.  What you’ll get from me is what you want.  What you will see is what you only want.  I wouldn’t try to show you love because you refuse it.  I wouldn’t try to show you affection because you abhor it.  Much more, do not look for where you’re unable to show it either.  Don't worry, i'm staying and i will let you stay.  No talks of separation. No whatsoever.